Small Talk

I don’t like going above the 11th floor. The elevator goes too fast and it hurts my ears. So I made them come to me.

We decided to take our meeting to the street and get a few steps in. I love a good walk-and-talk. We looked a sight, to be sure.

I stood between them in butter (manifesting sunshine), Topknot by my side in his $300 designer sneakers, and The Scribe on the other in his yarmulke and gartel. We had some shop to talk, but not much. After decisions were made, a solid 15-minute return to the office remained, and we filled it with small talk.

Topic: the meaning of life.

Am I so terrible at small talk that I can’t tolerate it for 15 minutes? We could be talking about X-Men casting, or Waymo, or why low-fat cottage cheese exists. Anything but addiction.

One moment it’s, “Do people need something bigger than themselves?” The next it’s, “Is there a way to exist without believing our lives mean something?”

Et voilà.

The Scribe says meaning is already there. It precedes us. We don’t get to manufacture it according to our particular moods or circumstances. He seemed relieved to have this settled. 

Topknot says there is no meaning waiting to be discovered. We make what we can of our brief tenure here and ought not torment ourselves unnecessarily over questions without answers. Do whatever you must to achieve contentment in a world where it’s all meaningless, meaningless. Everything is meaningless. 

He deftly skirted a puddle and continued. Capture your attention, choose to remain ignorant of some things if it allows you some peace, because "ignorance is bliss".

The Scribe suggested there is a difference between contentment and avoidance. If a thing is true, our preference about the matter doesn’t make it less true. And if our lives belong to God, then it doesn’t matter whether something makes us feel happy.

I glanced from one to the other.

If everything means something, then nothing can simply be dismissed.

If nothing means anything, then nothing has to be answered for.

I don’t know. I want to rest in peace that surpasses understanding, recite my serenity prayer, and go back inside to make an important phone call.

“Well, thanks for the walk—bye!”

I watched the elevator doors close.

Alone for a moment, I made a note to self to add something to my to-do list beneath “Write elevator speech”:

“Brainstorm better small-talk topics.”